8.2 The Trojan Horse

Homer and Virgil wrote about the famous battle between the Greeks and Trojans outside the gates of Troy. Interestingly enough, the war was started by Paris’ lust for another man’s wife. The Greeks’ siege lasted ten long and bloody years before they came up with the idea. It was simple but risky. Build a huge, hollow, wooden horse. Fill it with Greeks, and get the Trojans to bring it inside the city gates when they thought the coast was clear. After building the horse and filling it with warriors, the Greeks set sail. They didn’t leave, though. They just hid out of sight until the time was right.

The Greeks were crafty. The horse was considered to be the sacred animal of Poseidon, and so it would seem that it was a gift to the sea god bestowed in order to gain them safe passage home. But the horse was also the customary gift left by a defeated general as a sign of surrender and respect to a conquering general. In case these two customs failed to allay the Trojan’s fears, the Greeks also left behind a spy. His name was Sinon, and he convinced the Trojan’s that the wooden horse was a gift. The Trojans believed him even though several prominent citizens warned the leaders not to accept the horse.

That night, the Trojans had a celebration worthy of the end of a ten-year war. Warriors, who normally would have been on high alert, let their guard down and went to bed sloppy drunk. When the Greeks realized that everyone was asleep, they poured out of the horse, opened the gates for the rest of the Greek soldiers and sacked the city.

The battle for sexual purity is very much a war and often more sinister. If our Enemy was flesh and blood, and God gave the call to engage in battle, we would rush forward despite our fears and fight to the death for our General. But as our Enemy is spiritual and unseen, we are poor warriors. We see the gift of the Trojans outside our gates and lust after it. We listen to the Enemy’s “inside man” (our flesh) as he tells us how great the gift will be. We listen as he tells us that we can’t do without it. We must have it, and what harm could it do?

We open our gates wide and pull the horse in ourselves, suffocating the nagging cry of our conscience that says, “Wait! There’s something wrong here! It’s too heavy. It’s too good to be true. Why would the Enemy give us a gift now after years of bitter bloodshed?”

Once within our gates, the Trojan Horse captivates us. We abandon all our defenses to admire the handiwork, to caress the flanks, to believe mistakenly that the horse is ours, all ours, to do with what we will.

Then, we go to bed, the horse still within our walls. In truth, once we let it past our gates, it will never leave. It becomes one of the many such horses we have allowed within our walls. Insanely, we repeat the folly of the Trojans over and over again, each time convincing ourselves that the horse can do us no harm even though we know better. We’ve cut the throat of our conscience, and left it dying - its still, small voice becoming stiller and smaller.

And while we sleep, gratified in our conquest, the belly of the horse vomits its contents. The Enemy’s henchmen scatter throughout our city, putting to the sword any good they come across. They find our marriage, a prize specifically sought for, and they put it to the sword. Unhindered, they make their way to the very center of our city, and there they find our relationship with God, the chief prize. Mercilessly, they hack away at it. It may take dozens of attacks to kill it completely, but in our steadfast loyalty to the Enemy’s plans, we provide plenty of opportunity.

After the attack, we suffer agonies of loss in the most important relationships in our lives. But sadly, sickly, we look forward to the next visit by the Trojan horse. It helps us to forget our pain for a time, as we live in a fortress that looks strong and secure from the outside while it is filled with death behind its walls.

No one comes to our aid, because as they pass our city, they see only its outward strength. They don’t know about our nightly appointment with the Trojan Horse. But because our infatuation with the horse is progressive (we become dissatisfied with the horse we’ve been getting and we allow the Enemy to bring in a larger one), there will come a day when the Enemy’s victory is complete, and He will be content to tear down our strong walls and reveal the evil that is inside us.

Sounds bleak, doesn’t it? My apologies, but I don’t think I’m being overly dramatic. Because sexual sin can be so easily hidden, we tend not to realize how devastating it is to our relationships with our wives and with God. We are in a spiritual war with real consequences. As long as we allow the Enemy inside our gates, we give him tactical advantage.

8.1 Assigning Gatekeepers

My temptations are my masters of Divinity.

–Martin Luther

After the wall had been rebuilt and I had set the doors in place, the gatekeepers and the singers and the Levites were appointed. I put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the commander of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most men do. (Nehemiah 7:1-2)

As soon as Nehemiah had the walls up, he turned his focus on the temple and made sure that all the important jobs were filled. One of the most critical responsibilities belonged to the gatekeepers, who were to protect the temple by controlling what was allowed into it.

There are actually two types of gatekeepers: those assigned to the temple and those assigned to the city gates. Gatekeepers made sure that only good things were allowed in and that bad things were kept out. By following this simple principle, the city and the temple were protected. If the gatekeepers compromised their leadership role, they endangered the temple, the city and all those within it.

For us, it’s important to guard both our hearts and our minds from attacks by the Enemy. Your gates, as you may remember from the introduction, include your ears, your eyes and your mouth. Things come into your city (i.e., your mind) through your eyes and ears, and things leave your city through your mouth.

If we allow the Enemy past our gates, he can do untold destruction to our hearts and minds. Maybe you remember the story about another city whose gatekeepers compromised when deciding what to allow in the gates.

7.13 The Dogfight

Maybe you’ve heard the story about the man who raised dogs for the cruel sport of dog fighting.  Strangely enough, he would let his dogs fight each other, and he always bet accurately on the one that would win.  His apprentice couldn’t figure out how he did it, so he asked him one day, “How do you know which dog is going to win?”

“Simple,” the man answered.  “It’s the one I feed the most.”

Each of us has a dogfight going on inside.  Each dog represents a part of us.  One is our flesh, and one is our redeemed nature from the Spirit of God.  Which one will win?  Simple.  The one we feed the most.

Are you feeding your flesh with sexual images, steamy plot lines and lingering looks, or are you feeding you redeemed nature with the Word of God, prayer, worship, service and other godly pursuits?

*****

In the next chapter, we’ll begin looking at how you can help your redeemed nature with this fight by guarding what you allow through your gates.

7.12 The Real Inside Man

Also, in those days the nobles of Judah were sending many letters to Tobiah, and replies from Tobiah kept coming to them. For many in Judah were under oath to him, since he was son-in-law to Shecaniah son of Arah, and his son Jehohanan had married the daughter of Meshullam son of Berekiah. Moreover, they kept reporting to me his good deeds and then telling him what I said. And Tobiah sent letters to intimidate me. (Nehemiah 6:17-19)

Remember how I said that Tobiah was a metaphor for our flesh? Beginning in 6:17, he begins to take center stage. Nehemiah became aware that the Jewish nobles were sending letters to him and receiving replies back. Many were under oath to serve him, because he was related to several prominent citizens. Shecaniah, son of Arah, was his father-in-law, and Tobiah’s son Jehohanan was married to the daughter of Meshullam, son of Berekiah. The nobles tried to influence Nehemiah by pointing out Tobiah’s better qualities. Meanwhile, Tobiah continued to send letters to Nehemiah to intimidate him.

Our flesh is the real “inside man,” and Satan has his hooks in it. When you accepted Christ, your heart was renewed, but your flesh was not. It’s corrupt, and God has purposed that you will receive a new body when you join Him in heaven or when He comes again (whichever comes first). Satan gets to keep your carcass, but God got the better part of the deal. Though we spend our lives worrying about improving our flesh, it’s our spirit that has the potential to please God.

As believers, the battle we wage with Satan is for our hearts and minds. Our hearts have been renewed, but our minds still have a lot of loyalty to our flesh. The people mentioned in the above passages are a metaphor for our impure thoughts. They are motivated by our flesh, which has no interest in living purely. Everything that you do to grow closer to Christ is a threat to our flesh, so don’t expect it to give up without a fight. Just like Sanballat wanted to control Jerusalem, Satan wants to control our minds. He will use our flesh and our thoughts to wage his war.

7.11 From Rubble to Rampart

So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God. (Nehemiah 6:15-16)

Chapter 6 announces a finished wall. It took Nehemiah and his people only 52 days to go from rubble to rampart. And they did quality work – some of the wall still stands in Jerusalem today, almost 2500 years later. A work like this required an extraordinary commitment on the part of the builders.

Seeing the completed condition of the walls struck fear into the hearts of Nehemiah’s enemies, “because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.” Beautiful! To God be the glory! Building your walls helps you and glorifies God. What other reasons do we need to engage in this great work?

No matter how bad the condition of your spiritual walls, you can put them back together quickly with God’s help. Don’t give in to despair. That’s what the Enemy wants. A healthy relationship with Christ is closer than you think. You can turn your rubble into a strong rampart.

If you believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you must believe this: His blood was enough. There is no sin that you have committed or could commit that His blood wouldn’t cover. To believe that your sin is unforgivable is to deny the power of Christ. So, relax! Jesus can bring those stones back to life from the heap of rubble you’ve made of your life. Just watch Him!

7.10 Punch Yourself in the Nose

When I was younger, I read a story about a man who was in the precarious position of being just about to fall over a cliff. In that split second before he fell, he punched himself in the nose with all his strength, forcing him to fall backwards. It was a drastic move, but drastic moments call for drastic measures. Falling over the cliff meant certain death. A bloody nose was a welcome alternative.

Consider that moment of temptation your moment on the cliff. Too often, we allow ourselves to fall into a sin that kills our spiritual health, but there are always alternatives. God never allows a temptation without also allowing a way out.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Again, drastic times call for drastic measures. A bloody nose might just be the way out that God is providing.

So, how could you “punch yourself in the nose?” Could you call your accountability partner and confess your struggle? Could you call your wife? Could you begin a conversation with someone nearby to get away from your impure thoughts? Could you confess to your friend that you’re still thinking about the waitress after she took your order? Could you introduce your wife and kids into the conversation with an attractive woman? Could you act like a dork? Could you leave the party abruptly to get away from her?

“Punching yourself in the nose” is no fun. It’s the last thing you want to do in that moment, but that’s only because you’ve forgotten that falling off the cliff is deadly to your relationship with your Savior. What we’re really talking about is your level of commitment to your relationship with Jesus. Are you really willing to follow Him no matter what the cost? Then that cost involves a few bloody noses.

7.9 Look for the Lie

Whenever you are tempted to sin, look for the lie. I promise it’s there. Every temptation involves at least one lie and probably many. One of the most common lies associated with sexual temptation is that you have an urgent need that has to be met right now! The pressure can seem enormous and overwhelming. You begin thinking it would be easier to just give in, but don’t.

What looks urgent is often a lie. (Ever answered an urgently ringing phone only to discover that it’s a telemarketer?) Satan wants you to think that you have an urgent need, but resist the temptation with resolve, and watch how quickly he flees. A moment later, you’ll be amazed at how different you feel.

How about some other lies that we believe in the moment of temptation?

“It’s my wife’s fault. She’s not meeting my needs.”

While your wife may not be meeting your sexual needs, you are still accountable for your own behavior. You can’t use what someone else does or doesn’t do as justification for sin. Before you blame your wife, ask yourself if there is anything you are doing or not doing that might be contributing to the problem.

“I’ve been good. I deserve a break.”

You’re assuming that you’ve crossed some arbitrary righteousness threshold. This is a very legalistic way of looking at your walk, and it’s false. Our relationship with Christ is based on grace, not works. Works are the evidence of your love for Him. Besides, the threshold is much higher than you are thinking. (See Jesus’ interpretation of the seventh commandment in Matthew 5:27-30.)

“I need to see how bad it is.”

Maybe a little “Christian research” might make you better prepared to defend against sexual immorality. Not a chance. It’s bad, and it ain’t getting better. That’s all you need to know. More diligent research will only take you down. It will make you want to do more and more research until you’ve consummated your sin.

“Just one look won’t hurt.”

Wrong. Curiosity killed the cat, remember? One look will turn into a linger, and a linger will turn into a lust. If Satan can get you to take one look at the bait, he sets the hook and starts to reel you in. Besides, how long can your active imagination go on just that one image?

“I’ve already messed up. What’s one more time?”

How far away from God do you want to wander before you try to find your way back to Him? It may not be as easy as you think. Though God is always as close as our repentance, you might find it difficult to ask for forgiveness. Every time you sin, you are poisoning your spirit. The sooner you turn back, the better.

7.8 The Inside Man

One day I went to the house of Shemaiah son of Delaiah, the son of Mehetabel, who was shut in at his home. He said, “Let us meet in the house of God, inside the temple, and let us close the temple doors, because men are coming to kill you—by night they are coming to kill you.”

But I said, “Should a man like me run away? Or should one like me go into the temple to save his life? I will not go!” I realized that God had not sent him, but that he had prophesied against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him. He had been hired to intimidate me so that I would commit a sin by doing this, and then they would give me a bad name to discredit me.

Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, O my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophetess Noadiah and the rest of the prophets who have been trying to intimidate me. (Nehemiah 6:10-14)

Sanballat’s next tactic was to compromise Nehemiah’s integrity by using someone he trusted. He hired a Jew to warn Nehemiah that men were coming to kill him and that he ought to seek refuge in the temple. This proposal could have been tempting for Nehemiah for two reasons. It could have appealed to his sense of self-preservation and to his sense of pride. Surely he was important enough to protect. What would the Jews do without his leadership? But Nehemiah saw right through this ruse. He knew that only the priests were allowed in the Holy Place. (Numbers 18:7) Nehemiah refused the suggestion and once again turned his enemies over to God for justice.

Sometimes Satan will use someone close to you to lead you into sin. That’s all the more reason to be careful whom you allow in your inner circle of intimate relationships. But sometimes it’s even a well-meaning Christian brother or sister. Maybe they question the intensity of your commitment to this whole sexual purity thing. Maybe a Christian sister confesses that her feelings for you have replaced her feelings for her husband. Maybe your girlfriend makes it difficult for you to save yourself for marriage. Maybe your wife wants to spice up your sex life with a little Penthouse Letters or by sharing a racy story with you from the novel she is reading.

Not everyone is at the same level of spiritual maturity. In fact, God may not even be working on sexual purity in the lives of some of the people around you. If they seem insensitive to your struggles, it may be ignorance, or it may be bad motive. A little coaching about your boundaries will help the former. You may need to discontinue the relationship if it’s the latter. In either case, you can’t allow those around you to lead you into temptation.

Shemaiah, Sanballat’s hired messenger, can also represent our thoughts. Satan loves to dangle the most tempting option in front of us to see if we take the bait. By planting a suggestive thought, he tries to get us to give in to the sin. “It would be so much easier. Quit fighting the ‘good fight.’ Where’s it gotten you so far? The struggle never ends. It only gets harder. C’mon, think about yourself for once, will you. You deserve this…” On and on it goes. If he can tell you are listening, Satan will turn up the volume. Like Nehemiah, we’ve got to rebuke this messenger in a decisive, unequivocal way.

7.7 Damaging Your Reputation

Then, the fifth time, Sanballat sent his aide to me with the same message, and in his hand was an unsealed letter in which was written:

“It is reported among the nations—and Geshem says it is true—that you and the Jews are plotting to revolt, and therefore you are building the wall. Moreover, according to these reports you are about to become their king and have even appointed prophets to make this proclamation about you in Jerusalem: ‘There is a king in Judah!’ Now this report will get back to the king; so come, let us confer together.”

I sent him this reply: “Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.”

They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.” (Nehemiah 6:5-9)

The fifth time Sanballat invited Nehemiah to leave the safety of the city and join him in the “plain of Ono” (that’s read “Oh, no!” if you’re Nehemiah), he turned up the heat. This time, he sent an aide with an unsealed letter that claimed Nehemiah was building the wall as part of a revolt against the king. It further asserted that Nehemiah had already made declarations that he was the new king of Judah.

Of course, none of this was true. Nehemiah was beyond reproach and completely committed to the Persian king. The significance of the letter being “unsealed” was that it was made public. Nehemiah was the last stop for the aide, who likely took the letter to several influential leaders in the surrounding area to let them read it first.

Lies and slander are a common trick of the Enemy. If he cannot get us to actually compromise our integrity, he can at least give the appearance of it. Remember, he is the Father of Lies. While rumors can definitely hurt you, avoid the temptation to get down in the mud with your accuser. Take the high road.

Nehemiah’s response is helpful. He basically said, “Nice try.” Then he turned to God and asked for strength. No smear campaign for this leader. Nehemiah knew that getting tangled up with Sanballat would only distract him from his work. He also knew that God was the only One who could do anything about the situation, so he put it in the Lord’s hands and got back to the Lord’s work.

7.6 Who Suffers?

The story of Lot is instructive, because it reminds us of the consequences of putting ourselves in harm’s way. We often like to think our sinfulness is our own business. We think that we’re the only ones who are impacted by it.

Lot was certainly impacted. In God’s judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah, he lost his home, his possessions, his community, his position, his sons-in-law – just about everything. He even lost his wife, who was turned into a pillar of salt when she turned back to look at the devastation of the two cities.

I would contend that he also lost his children. How? Though his daughters survived the judgment of God, they had been pledged to unbelievers – wicked men who cared nothing for God. And while they were rescued from ungodly marriages, their hearts were infected with the sin of Sodom. When we last see Lot (chapter 19), his daughters are getting him drunk on successive nights and sleeping with him so that they can have children.

Where did they get such a perverse idea? If they were worried about carrying on the family name, why didn’t they put their trust in God? Where was their sense of decency and moral conduct? It was destroyed long before the fires consumed Sodom. Lot has only himself to blame. He raised his daughters in an environment of sexual perversity, and what they should have seen as abnormal looked normal to them.

When you put yourself in harm’s way, there are consequences – both to you and to those you love. Maybe you think that you’re only hurting yourself…that no one but you knows about your lust, about the images you look at, about what you do when you’re on the road. Even if no one but God (remember Him?) and you know about your sin, innocent people can still be hurt. Consider these possible consequences:

• Your wife can no longer excite you, because she doesn’t look like the woman in the magazine.
• Your marriage cannot experience oneness, because you are keeping secrets from your wife.
• Your purchase of pornographic material helps to fund the next marketing initiative designed to lure men into a life of sexual addiction.
• Your lack of sexual integrity makes you unqualified to lead your son or daughter through the difficult dilemmas related to sex during their adolescent years.
• An unbeliever who knows you are a Christian sees you lingering over the women’s revealing images at the video store and wonders why all Christians are such hypocrites.
• God removes His covering from your home until He’s got your attention again.

Those are just a few examples, and they don’t even deal with the impact to God and to you. Have you ever thought about how grieved God must be when we continue to walk in sin? …when we lust after His creation? …when we pretend He doesn’t exist long enough to consummate our sin? How about the impact your sin is having on you?

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? (Proverbs 6:25-28 )

What does it mean to be reduced to a loaf of bread? Seems like every commentator I’ve looked at has their own opinion on this, but no matter what the answer, it can’t be good, can it? I prefer to interpret this to mean that going to a prostitute makes you a dumb loaf. You no longer act using your intellect; you are now acted upon with no ability to resist your temptations.

But how about the rest of the verse? Mess with a married woman, and you risk her husband’s jealous reimbursement. Act on your lusts and you’re gonna get burned. Lust is progressive. It’s naive to think that you can keep the animal caged. Remember the raptors they had in an underground cell in Jurassic Park? That’s your lust. Sure, it’s easy to keep it under control when it’s young, but the more you feed it, the bigger it gets. No matter what kind of controls you’ve put into place, it will get free. When it does, it won’t be underground anymore. Everyone around you will find out about it.

Sin brings suffering. Always. Sometimes to you, sometimes to others, but it always hurts someone.